Nu ska jag gå o sova och övervinna mitt kaffeabstinensbesvär och lyssna på Boat Club och tänka på vårminnen och tänka på Göteborg.

 my hood.

where i am -  at 18:01 - in bed listening to radio dept

i'm not kidding myself that anyone reads this shit. i just miss being someone who has this come naturally. being open-hearted is hard. now in order to express any sort of feeling, i need to be high and drunk. 'the truest faith'.

the days between

 

I might review this sometime, but i've just finished it, and i'm in disbelief at the ending. how could something so sweet, be horrible and awful and terrible, and alien all at the same time.

well that's what death is like isn't it. death of a beloved friend ...lover. it's understood, but it's not right. i would want to say that i didn't like the ending, but i did, it explains her life more than anything before it.

I wish we could just meet all over again

 i'm feeling down. i'm always down. when im around people i don't know, i'm someone else. talkative and outgoing, but when im with people i know, and my family, i'm quiet...not myself. it shouldn't be like that.

and i think about bullshit i shouldn't think about. all the time. like life-expectancies and illnesses. people always say i look like my mom. which is ok, cuz when she was young, she was blonde, tall and beautiful. but i think i'm like her in ways no-one knows about. her maudlin moods, the way she trusts no-one, how she cries when she's sad, and her black sense of humor. and i know no matter how good life gets, and how many people i surround myself with, i'll still feel like i'm not there.